This I Believe

I believe in a thing called procrastination.

But there are nonbelievers who try to bring me over to The Other Side– they say if I came home and started my homework right away, I would have an hour or two before I go to bed to relax and enjoy myself. They say I would be less stressed and less miserable. They say I would get better grades and maybe even enjoy school more. They say I would have more time to get other things done, like laundry, cleaning, and other “To Do” tasks. They say I would get more sleep and feel better the next day.

But I do come home and start my homework right away. I read over my assignments to be certain I understand them. Then I log on to the computer to check my email, just to make sure the teacher didn’t make a quick change to the assignment. Of course I have to respond to Grandma’s e-card so she doesn’t call me later wondering whether she actually sent it correctly or not. Then I update my status on Facebook to make sure nobody bothers me while “Chrissy Berkeley is working hard on this darned English paper :(.” Then I see that “Susie Smith is plugging away at this ginormous research paper *ew*” too and I have to text her good luck. Then I run downstairs to quickly make a cup of peppermint tea to settle my stomach so I can concentrate. While the water boils I can separate my laundry – I might as well multitask. Then the tea takes seven minutes to brew so I might as well put on the local forecast so I can plan my outfit for tomorrow and get that out of my mind. Then I can finally go back upstairs and sit at my computer with my tea. Then I should really check postsecret.com because they update the secrets every Sunday and I don’t want to fall behind. These will give me a good laugh too, a nice break from this tedious English paper. Then I read over the assignments one more time to make sure I am brainstorming for the appropriate topics. Then I really should take the dog for a quick walk around the block; her bowel system schedule is pretty regular and it’s about that time – it would take less effort to walk around the block now than to get down on my hands and knees to clean the floor later. Then it’s time for dinner, which I obviously cannot skip out on. This is family time, too, so it’s okay to spend a few extra minutes chatting with Mom and sister about the day’s events. Then I get back to my computer and check my email just to be safe. My Facebook status also must be updated because “Chrissy Berkeley is having so much trouble with this ridiculous English assignment.” Then I have to be the first to comment on Judy Jacobs’ recently uploaded adorable pictures with her boyfriend. Then I take a peek out the window and see an awesome moon rising, and take out my new digital camera to capture the moment. Then I start to cry because I’m always stuck inside doing the millions of homework assignments and can never ever enjoy the beauty of nature. A nice oatmeal bath will soothe me, so I start to run the bath water – I deserve a nice break. Then I download some calming new mp3s so I can get the full spa experience. Then the bath is finally ready so I step in the steaming water and take a deep sigh of relief – “ahhh” – everything will be okay. Then I wake up shivering and my fingers are pruney. I get out of the bath and try to figure out where that funny light shining on the wall is coming from. It leads me to the windows in the guest room, and the sun rise. I am on the verge of hyperventilating, but I have proven to myself time and time again that I work well under pressure, so I know it will be okay. I dry my hair to warm myself up and put on the outfit I planned out yesterday. I check my email to make sure the teacher didn’t change the due date of the paper because everyone was having trouble. Then I sit from five a.m. to six a.m. and punch out an awesome paper. Then I eat breakfast, drive to school, and hand my paper in on time.

Now that I think about it, I believe I got an A plus on that paper.